THE POEMS OF ROBERT DUNN

Faust´s Consolation The nice thing About Hell Is that the deeper You are condemned The more women's skirts You can look up.

Goddess Great, Goddess Good, Goddess Quite Misunderstood I was sitting atop Mount Olympus, surrounded By goddesses … well, they claimed they were goddesses— I really ought to be more careful checking their IDs And resumes …  I was sitting atop Mount Olympus, Trying to mind my own business, but Every so often the temptation would overwhelm me And I would turn to one of these alleged goddesses And say, “Hey, babe. How´s about working A little miracle, hah? I´d love to see something Take my breath away around here besides the altitude.’ The response was always the same: a fit of giggles And a furious rustling of the latest scandal sheets, Usually the National Twiddler, or some such— Talking about Alpha Smith or Omega Miller or Zeta Jones. And no magic—never any magic— They won´t even do [any] magic any more, snarling “We´re goddesses, not trained seals. You want magic, You go watch that delivery boy hauling up and down The mountain every week with the Twiddler—Hey! Here he comes now!—Schweinhundt! Vhere iss Der comics section? And what wiseapple filled in Der Crossvurd of the Shtars?!?!’ Well, I guess if I want magic, I´m going to Have to do it myself, which would be okay, except I´m all magicked out from all the insubordination— I guess I spent too many schooldays watching I Dream of Jeannie (whatever happened to her, anyway?) When I was a kid. At least, now I understand why So many modern men pray for flight attendants— This goddess stuff is for the birds.

Goddess of Chocolate Cacao was the Greek Goddess of Chocolate, More dangerous than the Gorgon, Medusa, more Seductive than the Singing Sirens; holding sway Over sweet tooths ... er … teeth, diabetes, acne, Chocoholism, and other such sinful pleasures. Cacao would appear with caramel, or almonds, Or peanuts, or those little puffed rice thingies … As the occasion demanded. She aimed to please, At least until her victims were hooked. Zeus Pater himself once tried to force himself on Cacao, Appearing to her as a cup of hot chocolate, Demanding that she give his some “sugar,’ Shall we say? But she saw through that one Immediately. He later tried the same stunt Disguised as a chocolate Easter bunny, as Engaging an attempt at multiculturalism as I´ve Ever heard. But Cacao wasn´t buying—there Would be no Leda and the Swan fol-der-rol Around her, thank you very much. Zeus Should have tried another flavor—even he Could not beat a goddess at her own game. It Was left to Aries to bag her, after some bacchanalia Or other where she was so flushed with the grape She could not recognize him as a relative—so nine Months later, Cacao gave birth to a Mars bar.

How Precedents Are Set When Adam divorced Lillith (the one Before Eve), she demanded half The Garden in her settlement. “I cannot Give you that,’ sighed Adam. “We Are not Owners here. We´re renters.’ He thought a moment. “But I can Offer you custody of the snake.’ Lillith thought it over, and took the snake. She retrained it, gave it a new nose, A fang job, taught it some new tricks, And later, at a critical juncture In the narrative, turned it loose on Eve. If Adam had been a better lawyer, he Would have known the First Rule Of Divorce is: Never give anything away.