INDEPENDENCE DAY

We hold these truths to be self-evident. Not all movies are created equal,and they are not endowed by their creators with the inalienable right tobarage our senses and sensibilities with utter trash (what Spanish speakingpeople call "pura mierda").

Nevertheless, that's exactly what the makers of the current very over-ratedrage, INDEPENDENCE DAY, have done. Mayor Koch, in his review of this sadexcuse for a sci-fi film, noted that you will be more sorry that you wastedyour time than that you wasted your hard earned $8 plus. But this film hasyou more than merely wasting your time. It has you go into paraxisms ofembarrassment, if you have any sensitivity whatsoever.

Not only has the story been better told before. Not only have the specialeffects been seen before, and better done. Most other sci-fi films thatthis reviewer has seen, including those utter now campy sci-horror films ofthe 1950s, have at least a hint of a good script. I am willing to bet thateven some of Ed Wood's works have better dialogue than that of INDEPENDENCEDAY.

To me, the most laughable AND the most embarrassing aspect of the film arethe portrayals of Harvey Firestein of an overly swishy homosexual, and ofJudd Hirsch as a horribly stereotyped New York Jewish father. Both of theseroles are completely superfluous to the film's story.

One has to wonder, not only why they were written into the script but more,why these two actors were willing to sully their reputations and craft.It's also amazing to me that an actor of such fine quality as Jeff Goldblumwould be willing to involve himself in this utter mess. Perhaps if I werean actor in Hollywood, and my agent told me that all I had to do was to bea parody of what my background is, and that I would make an incredibleamount of money in a flim guaranteed to gross hundreds of millions beforeit is through, then yeah, maybe I too would be a whore and do it for themoney.

The story, as is well known, concerns itself with the invasion of earth bya race of aliens bent on killing off mankind and taking over our planet,and the subsequent uprise of the human race to fight off the attack onJuly 4th, American Independence Day. I will not ruin the story for thosewho insist on seeing this claptrap, even though they may have heard how badit is, by telling the details of the denoument. I will merely say that thedefeat of the invaders is in the hands of an Afro-American pilot, a NewYork Jewish intellectual, a drunken has-been, and a sickenly clean cut JFKclone of a president. What a winning combination!

There is even, believe it or not, a bit of RELIGION thrown in, when JuddHirsch, who plays Jeff Goldblum's over-talkative, pushy Jewish father,gives his son a pair of old TEFILLIN, and tells him to pray. Oy Vey! I'llbet that even the ALMIGHTY Himself was embarrassed!

But hey, go see it, if you want to be rooked. After all, its summer, andthe days are long, and you have to fill up your leisure time somehow,right? OK. Go for it. Make your day!

I know not what course others may take. But as for me, give me liberty orgive me the death of INDEPENDENCE DAY.

New York
7-23-96