The Taping of the 10 Commandments Revisited 10/24/04
|Click Here to see a video clip of the skit|
The Taping of The Commandments Revisited - Seaview, NY [Fire Island]
This skit was taped on Fire Island in the vicinity of the home of Shlomoh's significant other [who appears in the last picture in this set].
Tony was camera man. Judy Freedman took these candid shots of the taping.
Thank goodness the weather cooperated.
Written by -
|VOICE OF GOD: It is well known among the Israelites that when Moses recieved the call to speak to the Pharoah, he did not wish to go because he had a major speech impediment. This is his story...|
PHARAOH's receiving room.
ADVISOR: That's the troubled future I see for your Majesty, and that's why I believe you should free the Jewish people now.
PHARAOH: You have always be given me wise advice and shit. I will do like you said and free the Jew slaves.
ADVISOR: O great PHARAOH! Moses the Hebrew to spend a minute with your Majesty.
PHARAOH: (angered) Whut for?
ADVISOR: He won a contest.
PHARAOH: Oh yeah. The fastest ten foot, one ton block pull contest. What was his time?
ADVISOR: Three years.
PHARAOH: (To ADVISOR) Oh. A new record. Send the dude in.
|PHARAOH: Yo Mo'! Whut up ma nigga? Congratulations on winning. Winning a minute with me.|
|Moses: (mumbling) I hov com an mist sey to ou. Le muh peepa go!|
PHARAOH: (to ADVISOR) You catch any of that?
ADVISOR: He said, without you, he doesn't know what he and his people will do.
|Moses: Ah wi sma yo firs baw!|
|PHARAOH [looks at ADVISOR] Whut this mutha fucka say?|
|ADVISOR: (confused) He said, You are the bomb.|
|PHARAOH: Yeah? No jive! [to Moses] You know what? You Jews ok in ma book! Thanks to Moses I have changed my mind.|
PHARAOH: The Jews will keep bein' my slaves and every three years one will spend a minute with me just to tell me how cool I am.
MOSES LOOKS CONFUSED
PHARAOH: But I will give you people off on Shabbes from now on.
PHARAOH: Tell me,ADVISOR. How you know what Moses be sayin'?
ADVISOR: He is speaking an ancient language.
PHARAOH: You know me. I gets around. From jiberish to pig latin. I knows every ancient language. What's THIS language?
ADVISOR: He is speaking dyslexsic.
PHARAOH: Oh? He from a country called Dyslexsia?
ADVISOR: No. From a country called the People's Republic of The Bronx. Perhaps you should at least give Moses and his people KOSHER food.
|PHARAOH: Because Moses has the time to learn a new language, I have decided to let the dude and his people to use their spare time buildin' me one of those new massage parlours I heard so much about.|
|PHARAOH AND ADVISOR SMILE; MOSES DROPS HIS HEAD.|
|PHARAOH: (to Moses) After you tell your people the good news, about the massage parlour, they be lovin' you as much as they love me. (to ADVISOR) Take the dude away.|
|AS ADVISOR ROUGHLY ESCORTS MOSES OUT.|
|Moses: Ahh, Shtik ur massaj powla up ur ast.|
PHARAOH QUICKLY LOOKS AT ADVISOR.
ADVISOR: He's excited about getting a massage too. Let's get some hot Asian broads to work it. I know a few that work at the Cairo Scores.
PHARAOH: Speaking of broads, where my bitch, the queen, be at?
ADVISOR: Her highness can not be present, sire. She is indisposed.
PHARAOH: What'sa matter with her?
ADVISOR: [looks embarassed] ADVISOR: Her time of month, majesty.
PHARAOH: Well you tell that ho - as soon as she be off the rag, to get her skinny ass down here. I don't wanna have to be interviewin' these Jews all by myself.
ADVISOR: Very good, sire.
PHARAOH: And the next time that Moses comes to see me, have my first born son come and join me here. I know that he will just die ---- laughing at the mumblin fool.
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