The Taping of the 10 Commandments Revisited 10/24/04 |
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Click Here to see a video clip of the skit |
The Taping of The Commandments Revisited - Seaview, NY [Fire Island]
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This skit was taped on Fire Island in the vicinity of the home of Shlomoh's significant other [who appears in the last picture in this set]. Tony was camera man. Judy Freedman took these candid shots of the taping. Thank goodness the weather cooperated.
The Cast:
Written by -
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VOICE OF GOD: It is well known among the Israelites that when Moses recieved the call to speak to the Pharoah, he did not wish to go because he had a major speech impediment. This is his story... |
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PHARAOH's receiving room.
ADVISOR: That's the troubled future I see for your Majesty, and that's why I believe you should free the Jewish people now.
PHARAOH: You have always be given me wise advice and shit. I will do like you said and free the Jew slaves. ADVISOR: O great PHARAOH! Moses the Hebrew to spend a minute with your Majesty. PHARAOH: (angered) Whut for? ADVISOR: He won a contest. PHARAOH: Oh yeah. The fastest ten foot, one ton block pull contest. What was his time? ADVISOR: Three years. PHARAOH: (To ADVISOR) Oh. A new record. Send the dude in. |
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PHARAOH: Yo Mo'! Whut up ma nigga? Congratulations on winning. Winning a minute with me. |
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Moses: (mumbling) I hov com an mist sey to ou. Le muh peepa go! |
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PHARAOH: (to ADVISOR) You catch any of that? ADVISOR: He said, without you, he doesn't know what he and his people will do. PHARAOH: Word? |
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Moses: Ah wi sma yo firs baw! |
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PHARAOH [looks at ADVISOR] Whut this mutha fucka say? |
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ADVISOR: (confused) He said, You are the bomb. |
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PHARAOH: Yeah? No jive! [to Moses] You know what? You Jews ok in ma book! Thanks to Moses I have changed my mind. |
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MOSES SMILES
PHARAOH: The Jews will keep bein' my slaves and every three years one will spend a minute with me just to tell me how cool I am. |
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MOSES LOOKS CONFUSED
PHARAOH: But I will give you people off on Shabbes from now on. |
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PHARAOH: Tell me,ADVISOR. How you know what Moses be sayin'?
ADVISOR: He is speaking an ancient language. PHARAOH: You know me. I gets around. From jiberish to pig latin. I knows every ancient language. What's THIS language? ADVISOR: He is speaking dyslexsic. PHARAOH: Oh? He from a country called Dyslexsia? ADVISOR: No. From a country called the People's Republic of The Bronx. Perhaps you should at least give Moses and his people KOSHER food. |
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PHARAOH: Because Moses has the time to learn a new language, I have decided to let the dude and his people to use their spare time buildin' me one of those new massage parlours I heard so much about. |
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PHARAOH AND ADVISOR SMILE; MOSES DROPS HIS HEAD. |
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PHARAOH: (to Moses) After you tell your people the good news, about the massage parlour, they be lovin' you as much as they love me. (to ADVISOR) Take the dude away. |
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AS ADVISOR ROUGHLY ESCORTS MOSES OUT. |
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Moses: Ahh, Shtik ur massaj powla up ur ast. |
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PHARAOH QUICKLY LOOKS AT ADVISOR.
ADVISOR: He's excited about getting a massage too. Let's get some hot Asian broads to work it. I know a few that work at the Cairo Scores. PHARAOH: Speaking of broads, where my bitch, the queen, be at? |
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ADVISOR: Her highness can not be present, sire. She is indisposed.
PHARAOH: What'sa matter with her? ADVISOR: [looks embarassed] ADVISOR: Her time of month, majesty. PHARAOH: Well you tell that ho - as soon as she be off the rag, to get her skinny ass down here. I don't wanna have to be interviewin' these Jews all by myself. ADVISOR: Very good, sire. PHARAOH: And the next time that Moses comes to see me, have my first born son come and join me here. I know that he will just die ---- laughing at the mumblin fool. FADE OUT. |
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