INTERVIEW WITH SATAN

The Tony And Shlomoh Show
INTERVIEW WITH SATAN

Summer, 2005

This Skit was taped on July 19, 2005

Shlo: (to Tony) What´s wrong with you? You don't look too good.
Tony: I was out all night with God.
Shlo: With God? Where did you go?
Tony: He took me to the best strip club ever.
Shlo: Really, I thought you´ve seen to all the clubs.
Tony: Not in Manila.
Shlo: Manila?
Tony: Yeah. I´ll tell you, God gets around.
Shlo: Tell me about it later. Let´s get on with the show. Remember one time we interviewed God? Well now we get to interview Satan.
Tony: Yeah. That´s cause we´re fair and balanced.

Shlo: Exactly. He wanted to make an entrance, so without further ado,HEEEERE'S Satan!
SATAN ENTERS LOOKING LIKE AN INCREDIBLY SEXY WOMAN!
Tony: [looks at her] Hey! Where's Satan?
SATAN WINKS, SMILES, AND SITS.
Shlo: [pointing] Tony. This IS Satan!
Tony: What are you talking about? She's a broad!
Shlo: It´s Satan, man. He chose to appear to us as this luscious babe!

Tony: Very original but very confusing. Hi Satan baby!
Shlo: What would you like us to call you? Satan? Devil? Beelzebub?
Satan: You can call me Hot Sexual Goddess.
Tony: Now I´m really confused.
Satan: That´s what I do. Confuse people. Then I tempt them! [laughs sexily]
Shlo: Ok, maybe we should stick with Satan.

Tony: Why do you appear as a woman?
Satan: (speaking softly) Because women are loved, (speaking loudly) AND MANY TIMES FEARED!
Tony: Have you ever appeared as anyone else?
Satan: You remember that lap dance you got off on last night?
Tony: (smiling) Yeah.
Satan: That was me. You never thanked me.
Tony: [SMILES AND RUBS HIMSELF]

Satan: [looks at Tony's gun] Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?
Tony: [laughs - then, to Shlo] Hey! That´s why God told me to stay away from her.
Satan: But you didn´t listen, did you?
Tony: No. Now I'm extra glad I didn't!
Satan: (to Shlo) They never listen.
Tony: So Satan, baby. Why don´t you appear as somebody really evil? Like Michael Jackson.
Shlo: C´mon Tony. Even Satan isn´t that evil.

Satan: (laughing) You´re right, darling. Bin Laden maybe. But never Jacko.
Shlo: And not O.J. either,huh?
Satan: Sooner Jacko than O.J.
Tony: How about appearing as Bush.
Shlo: Won´t work. Satan´s too articulate. I'm sure she knows how to say nuclear/
Satan: (pointing at Shlo) That´s good, darling. I like you.

Tony: You like him! The baddest thing he ever did was having a wet dream.
Shlo: Tell me Satan. What did you think of that controversial movie “Passion of the Christ?’
Satan: Not enough.

Tony: (interrupting) Hooters. Not enough hooters, right?
Satan: No baby. Not enough ME!! (to Shlo, pointing at Tony) Hooters? What´s with this guy? It´s a religious movie.
Shlo: I know, But he's a big tit man! [smiles] He means well though.
Satan: (to Shlo) You've got a big one! [winks]
Shlo: Oh no. They cut me when I was a baby!
Satan: [laughing] I didn't mean that, you dirty minded boy!
Shlo: What then?
Satan: You've got a really big heart! Gimme a chance to get you on my side. Let´s hang out a little tonight.
Shlo: Sure! Why not.

SATAN GETS UP AND BEGINS TO LEAVE.
Satan: Meet me later, Shlo baby. We´ll be flies on the wall and listen to some priests' confessions.
Shlo: [waves] See you later, Satan baby!
SATAN LEAVES.
Tony: Hey Satan. Thanks for the lap dance. [beat] fuckin cunt!
FADE OUT.

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