ABOUT DIVORCE

The following article is interesting in that it describes a positive look at remarriage at a time when fewer people are getting married and more are divorcing.

The article is about what bas become known as 'DIVORCE REGRET", the sorrow some people feel about having divorced and the urge to remarry the same partner.

As someone who has been divorced, I have never experienced divorce regret although I have, from time to time, regretted not marrying someone else.

So as a divorced man in his old age, I'd like to offer some comments about marriage and divorce that I have contemplated over the course of many years.

To begin with, every society in our history has anticipated and prepared for a means of divorce - until the advent of Christianity which severely limits divorce based on verses in Matthew's gospel, chapter 19:9

"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

I have heard people say that he issued this decree because he was a friend to women and that in his time, a divorced woman, especially one with children, would have a hard time finding another husband.

However, all that Jesus was doing when making this pronouncement, was echoing the opinion of Rabbi Shammai whose interpretation of TORAH was more conservative than that of his more liberal colleagues.

Rabbi Shammai believed that divorce was only permitted for adultery. This was based on his interpretation of the Biblical words ERVAT DAVAR, which he believed meant "some fault or indecency" and therefore "adultery".

Deuteronomy 24:1
When a man takes a wife, and marries her, then it comes to pass, if she find no favor in his eyes, because he has found SOME UNSEEMLY THING in her, that he writes her a bill of divorcement, and gives it in her hand, and sends her out of his house.

Hence, both Shammai and Jesus interpret this verse in the same manner and little wonder. Jesus was a Galilean and the people of Galilee held a much more primitive and conservative view TORAH than their Judean brothers.

In modern times, many Christian denominations have taken a much more liberal approach and have allowed divorce.

Sadly, in America, the divorce statistic is at 50%. That is, half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce.

But the Christian ideal remains that:
"What God has joined together, let no man put asunder", Matthew 19:6. This Christian ideal that marriage is "till death do us part" cannot be found in any other religious culture. It is an alien concept, even in modern Judaism.

The so-called "marriage vows" do not exist in the Jewish religion. Not only do the marriage partners refrain from making any such promises but rather the husband gives the wife a KETUBAH, a document that is, in essence, a pre-nup, detailing what she will receive in the event that the union does not last.

But a lifelong marriage was more possible for our ancestors who lived before the time of recorded history. Then, one married at age 12, 13, or 14, and by age 29, he/she was dead.

In this sad century, in our country, fewer people are marrying, and those who are, are marrying later and having fewer children.

Now it appears that many people who divorce are rethinking this drastic measure and want to reunite with their former spouses.

This is laudable but it may not work for religiously committed Jews. Orthodox rabbinic interpretation of TORAH decrees that a divorced Jewish couple may remarry only in the event that during the interim, the woman has not had sex with another man. It is probably the same in Islam.

But for the majority in the population, the following article is very hopeful.

The article is available at:

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/will-you-marry-me-again-the-rise-of-divorce-regret?utm_medium=email&utm_source=pocket_hits&utm_campaign=POCKET_HITS-EN-DAILY-SPONSORED&PAVED-2024_09_25=&sponsored=0&position=5&category=fascinating_stories&scheduled_corpus_item_id=a402b534-61fe-4530-b8b1-7f7f6c2392d8&url=https://getpocket.com/explore/item/will-you-marry-me-again-the-rise-of-divorce-regret

Or on this website at Divorce Regret